Monday, November 24, 2014

It's already the end of the year againnn. Like where did my time gooooo???? 
This year has been a crazy year filled not only with fun, joy and laughter but also pain, crazy unbearable aches and a lot of hardwork. The beginning of 2014 started like the previous years, celebrating at marcus' house, drinking, watching horror(?)(was there horror movie or not? I can't rmb) then it was still quite a bit of slacking around, wasting time on idk what. A few months of aimlessly roaming around and then BOOM prelim1, HAHA my results used to be so absurb I dont even know what to say. I rmb failing all my subjs except for my languages. LOL so pathetic. (I'm glad I'm improved from that though :)) Then there's the first boyfriend. As much as I wish to call him a piece of shyt I have to admit that I used to be really fond of him. HAH joke on me but mehhh. I guess I just regret practically every choice I make. LOL. I rmb at the beginning of the year there were many of this relationship kinda problems. It's as though everyone has their own friendship/relationship/whatsoever not problems.Then there was the concert that all 4 of us spent months preparing for. Oh lord. I miss performing:( Sighpie that was our last official performance. And then there's world cup. OHHHHH I miss those days too. So much fun watching my fav teams playing. There's this thing about sports that makes adrenaline run through my entire body. Whoohoo (thinking about it makes me feel happy) And after worldcup season, I can't rmb doing anything special. I think ever since then I was a walking zoombie, just studying everyday, mug and yeah nothing but study. I rmb going back to sch on saturdays to do my tys and for extra lessons and what not. I rmb having all the night study sessions, all the study dates, going out just to study. It was a disgusting period of time... I dont know how I even survived it. OHHH there was also mid-autumn festivallll. Thanks to beryl and friends, I wasnt alone on mid autumn:))) afterwards I guess it was just another empty period of time filled with studying before O's and before we know it, O's is over alr and then all the fun starts rushing in. 
Because lately I have just been engaged in quite a bit of stuff, when I have time, I think a lot. I think about myself, I think about the future, I think about my friends. 
I realised I am really a very jealous kid. As much as I believe that my friends will do fine and make a lot of new friends after we go our separate ways, I wished that they wont do so well in future just so that they wont forget me. (yeah, I'm freaking selfish) Lol then I think again. Why am I so selfish? And I realise that I'm super insecure. Like there's no joke about it. I'm like sooooo insecure. I can't stand having people doing better than me just because of the fear thar they might outshine me. I worried that one day I will be forgotten. I worry about the problems that may not even exist. And I dont't trust myself enough. I dont trust myself enough to believe that I will not do what is wrong in future. IDKKKK. I'm a really weird kid. 
And then on relationship wise. I just have this feeling that I'll be alone forever LOL because I know, I know what I want, I know what exactly I want, I know it so well that I dont want anything else other than what I expect. I dont want anything less. And I have lost faith in people so much so that I do not even want to be in contact with anybody. Yet at the same time, I feel loneliness. 
Urghhh I have so much thoughts in my head sometimes I think that these thoughts will one day kill me LOL maybe I'm just scaring myself but yeah. It's scary. 
Regarding the future, I fear. I fear that I will grow to become someone I will not be proud of. You know like what if in future I smoke and drink and gamble. That's very baddddd. What if I grow up to become a person I myself dislike?? What if I become a nobody? Someone with no dreams, no hopes, no goals?? That will be scaryy. Sigh Thats whyyyyy Idk why but I have so much fears. Meow :C
So many things have happened and it's been a few crazy tiring weeks.
Throwback to 13november when I first got my new phone ( last day of O's) (watched "Don't go breaking my heart2") 

Then to 15nov(?) (shopping for my prom dress with my bro's gf ( future sister in law😊😊) )
My $20 dress ☺️☺️☺️

17nov the crazy running around day (went to bishan to try get a job but was put on hold) ( went je to get phone cover) (went limbang for dental appt) (lastly to junction10 for a talk with a piece of shyt πŸ’© LOL a waste of my precious time) 

Then it was 18nov. RED CAMPPPP. I love camps so i was pretty excited though I went alone (was ditch lah sia) 
The pathetic little bridge that we tried to build 
I have no idea what thing is for but it was a part of an activity at the engineering school (didn't understand anything I had to do so I slacked through the entire time)
My team for this activity πŸ™ˆ
Before dismissal😸😸😸 we were encouraged to selfie so yeahhh 
Oak 😸😻😺 fave SL (we bullied each other on the first day itself) (he tried to cheat me into believing his lame magic trick) (I keep disturbing him afterwards) (but he also very nice) (he got me milo after he know I cannot eat (braces problem) 😻😻) πŸ‘†πŸ‘†☺️
LOUISSSSS ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ super cute+cool kid. He's not even a part of my tribe but I was lucky enough to be slacking during the engineering activity and just nice we somehow talked for a bit. (He super cute lahhh) (braces family 😁😁😁) (he is a camera guy and that's cool 😻😻😻) πŸ™†πŸ™†

Onto day 2! 
Gotta admit day2 was a dread.πŸ’€πŸ’€ Cause more campers popped out on day2πŸ˜€πŸ˜ πŸ˜‘πŸ˜’ our subtribes got messed up and most of us werent our original subtribe😭😭😭😭 (I nearly cried cause I missed oak πŸ˜”and my SLs and just the familiarity of my subtribe😿😿😿)

Nevertheless I'm glad I made new friend from another subtribe.
Introducing Patikorn!!😺😺
Alright I have to say I was super lucky cause this guy is Janice's cousin and we were in the same subtribe on day2 so yayyy I had a friend 😊 and a dance partner for mass dance ✌️

Then cause next day prom, a lot of ppl not going red camp at all. So we had a kranjians at red camp photooooo 😸😸

And my SLs 😺😺
HAKIMM 😌😌 SL from another subtribe that invited me to join his subtribe when our subtribes got messed up (do you get it??😏😏)  just. I'm so glad he took care of me when I wasn't with my original subtribe πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡

Coolkidddd. Super nice SL. He tried to cheat me tgt with oak on first (with really really stupid tricks😐😐😐) but he's funny lah 😬😬 presenting to you, Xiangguang πŸ‘Ό

Lastly my dearest SL once again(I wanted take pic with him for like all 3days oneeeeπŸ˜”πŸ˜”)  sighpie 

(Louis was nowhere to be found so no photo with him also😞😞)

Day3-the mostmostmost dreadful and painful day cause I had to leave early and I was sure to miss out the finale, I was really sad right from the start of the camp. 
Luckily for me, I had companyy πŸ˜„

 Estherrrrr 😘😘

Cause last day of red camp mah so I got a bit cray with selfies and stuff 
Yeah it was fun 😊😊😊
Yeah I went all out and took pic with ppl I don't even knowπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ
Matthewww. He took care of me on the 2nd day too. ( when I was in his subtribe) ( he very funny and playful) 😺😺

My very own subtribe leaders 😻😻
Cutie pie (she freaking tiny and cute AHHHHHH πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ’•πŸ’•) 

My only regret is leaving red camp early and not getting to watch my SLs perform or take pic with them 😿 but all is fine cause I think they are going to have a outingggggg 😸😸😸😸

Now to prom πŸ‘Έ
As much as I find prom freaking boring and a waste of precious time and money, it was quite fun πŸ˜‰
Cutest teacher on earth?? 😍😍😍
Ms Wong personally edited the photo for us πŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’š❤️πŸ’—πŸ’–πŸ’žπŸ’˜πŸ’•πŸ’“
The reason for prom πŸ˜ΌπŸ‘­πŸ‘­

And then there's open house on Saturday. 
Once again by our beloved ms Wong πŸ™†πŸ™†

Lastly on Sunday, we revisit a place ( we went there 2years ago... Yeah the jurong east library kids section toilet 😸☺️πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜πŸ™ˆ HAHAHAHAHA) 

I can't believe 4years passed so quickly😿 sigh 

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Exams are finally over and I finally got a new phone idk why but freedom don't seem to taste as sweet as I thought it would taste. I start to pounder. Is it because all these are things I want and not actually things I need? Is it because I feel lost not having a thing to work towards to after examinations and after owning what I always wanted? Idk it's so weird of me

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Sunday(3rd August)
Just another spent at regent groove (still not sure of the spelling) 
survived with just 3hrs of sleep
Had loads of adrenaline cause of....

YEP. BUBZBEAUTYYY woots i'm like the happiest person at 7am that day:))))))))))

Then there was exam ongoing and blablabla.
Memorable thursday cause for every careless mistake made, you get one ponytail from ms thng. yep i got two. 


 the pain is REAL when you have to get that tiny rubber band out of your hair.....
 I guess it wasn't that bad a punishment. I had a real good time laughing.
puppy fused with bunny
 And then there's the amazing friday. (8august) national day celebrationnn

And excessive selfies 

cute cat

pretty pool